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The Weird Chick

Getting to Know the Weird Chick…

August 12th,2015


meeeHaving never done the MySpace (which was still cool when I was fifteen) or Facebook thing, writing a profile of myself is awkward new territory. Where do I start? My name is Sam, and I was born on January 10, 1991. It was a momentous day, and I wanted to make sure I got an early start. I emerged from the darkness at 1:43am, if my baby book is to be believed. Apparently M.C. Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This” was very popular that day. Again, if my baby book is to be believed. It seems the popularity of that song on my first day in the world had a strong impact on my musical taste, forever turning me away from such music. I live in the frigid north in a country known as Canada. A little more specifically, in Ontario. While quite often the tales of our weather are hilariously incorrect, I would have to say that the winter of 2014 tormented us and the tales do not even begin to describe how awful it was.

I share my house with my husbear, Ethan, and rent some rooms to friends. I have a dog, Growlithe. He usually goes by Gardie or Dumbdumb, sometimes I call him Stupid or Dog. He’s an Australian Cattle Dog mix, and he’s insane. Very high energy, very clingy, very smart, and very curious. It’s exhausting. I also had three rats: Feivel, Bernard, and Gonzales. They were all named after cartoon mice. Until recently, my sister’s Energizer Bunny lived with me. His name was Frodo Bunnins, and he was born in 2002. He lived to be around twelve or thirteen. He had a bad ear infection when he was a baby and as a result had suffered some paralysis, which caused him to bear more than a passing resemblance to Canada’s former Prime Minister, Jean Chretien.

gardie feivbern gonzo
From left: Growlithe, Feivel, Bernard, Gonzales

I was a baker (until September 2015!), making an array of yeasted products at a small bakery in the Toronto area. Mostly I made bread. So, so much bread. I honestly have no idea how many thousands of kilos of bread I have made by now, but I’m sure it’s some ridiculous number. I do a lot of baking and cooking at home, too. Bread is one of my favourite things to make (hey, I’m Portuguese; we love bread). My grandma taught me how to make Portuguese bread with chunks of chourico (the superior Portuguese version of chorizo) in it, and it is amazingly delicious. Seriously. I can make ten loaves, and they all disappear before the day is over (mostly because I ate them all). I like to cook, too (actually, I prefer cooking to baking), and according to my family and friends, I’m pretty damn good at it. I also love to bake sweet things, especially cookies. I love sugar. I can literally eat it by the spoonful. Some people think my desserts are too sweet, but I firmly believe that there is no such thing as too sweet. I’ve been making cookies by myself since I was ten years old. I used to make them in my Easy Bake Oven, one at a time. The first time I tried, we didn’t have any eggs at home, so I left them out. I was ten, I’ve never liked eating eggs, so I figured: “How important can they be?” That was the day I learned that eggs are important, unless you like eating rubber.

These days I am studying computer programming at a local community college in the Toronto area. Local college is awesomely affordable. No student loans!

Writing has always been a hobby of mine, as has reading, making websites, listening to music, and playing video games, and baking. I’ve recently added cooking to that list. My favourite books include The Golden Book of Faerie by O.R. Melling (a compilation of four novels that I’ve loved since I was twelve), Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky, and Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. When I was eighteen, I wrote and published (by which I mean bound by hand) a book of short stories called Samanthology that actually sold about 100 copies. I love to watch South Park, Community, Raising Hope, and Merlin. Netflix is awesome. My favourite movie is Pirates of the Caribbean, though I have not seen it in quite a long time. I actually do like the whole series, though none of the sequels live up to the original. I love rock music, particularly older stuff, like Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith (pre-1980s), though have recently begun to listen to newer stuff as well. I have found that I really like Sublime. As far as video games go, I am a huge Nintendo fan. Love Mario, love Pokemon (if you couldn’t tell by my dog’s name), and love The Legend of Zelda. So much, in fact, that my engagement ring is the Zora Sapphire (mine is in sterling silver because we’re not rich, but the sterling silver one has been discontinued). I have, at this very moment, my old Nintendo 64, my old Game Cube, and a Wii U all plugged into my TV (as well as my old Playstation and a Playstation 3). I also still have my Game Boy Advance and original DS, as well as my husband’s old Game Boy Color and my 3DS (and a New 3DS XL). I wish I still had my NES because damn do I want to play Duck Hunt. The Wii U version is not the same.

I am not much of a social media person, but for the sake of this site, I am trying. I am an incredibly awkward and shy girl; even online I have a hard time talking to people, making connections, reaching out, etcetera. Most people find the anonymity of the internet comforting, allowing them to open up in ways they never had before, but not me. Nope! I still mostly keep to myself, doing things in the background, waiting for other people to approach me (not the best method, I am aware). Anyway, I have made accounts on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram, but I really don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’m starting to get the hang of Instagram, but I think I may be using Pinterest incorrectly. I haven’t really gotten into Twitter. If you use any of those and want to get me into it, add me. 🙂 I do actually like people, I swear.

Oh yes, before I forget: No, I do not own a camera. I only have my phone, which apparently has a 13MP camera (I have had digital cameras since 2001 and I still don’t really understand what megapixels mean and how many make a good camera).



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